Are You Anxious During Job Interviews? 3 Steps to Take Before the Interview
Manuel (not his real name) did not know if he could keep trying any longer. For six months he had been going through one job interview after another. He had read enough to know how to present himself, had written good resumes, and had a good work history. He concluded that he did not get the job offers because he failed the interviews. Manuel suspected that it had something to do with being anxious. Even though he knew the answers to many of the questions he just couldn’t articulate them clearly or in an interesting manner. After many job interviews his confidence was plummeting. Not having a job put a strain on his marriage and even his children were talking about the things they would have to give up if daddy did not get a job soon.
Job Interviewing : Pressure to Succeed
For many, the job interview is what determines whether you are offered the job. It can feel like being on trial or a major life performance. Your nervous system may unconsciously experience it as a threat; others are judging your past performance and future potential. You have a short amount of time to prove yourself. While you may not be at risk of physical harm, the threat is real. If you do not get the job, you can lose your home, family, identity, financial security and reason for living. The job interview is a significant step to securing employment. If you fail, the bottom can fall out from your life. In the face of such a threat, it’s no wonder that you become anxious.
Anxiety: A Normal Response to Threat
In the face of threat, the human animal recognizes three options. It can fight, flee or freeze. During a job interview, to fight is generally not considered advantageous since you want to convince them that you want to be on the employer’s side, not her adversary. If you think you are trapped or the situation is hopeless, you may freeze. When this happens your thoughts slow and you become numb. If you freeze during an interview the interviewer may quickly eliminate you because you appear to have nothing to offer. The remaining option becomes the most likely to occur. You want to leave the interview as quickly as possible; this often appears as anxiety.
The Down Side to Being Anxious During an Interview
Anxiety can cause you to disconnect from others and yourself. As a result, you may not hear the questions or be able to think creatively in your responses. Consequently, the interviewer may think you are not interested because you just don’t seem to be “all there”. The last place you want to be is in the present moment. That seems too risky because if you stay you may show the interviewer that you are nervous, not as confident as you would like to appear, or that you may not know the answer to a question. If you exit emotionally, you can avoid the fear of being rejected. Your nervous system wants to get you out of there and away from the threat. This, of course, may not make sense to you intellectually. But, when you face a threat, it is your primitive brain that takes over to keep you safe. Your conscious mind can seem useless in fighting the anxiety.
What Can You Do To Be Less Anxious?
Fortunately, there are some steps you can take before the interview to help significantly reduce your anxiety. These include the following steps:
Step 1. Pay attention to how you express anxiety
When you are in a relatively safe environment, imagine that you are facing the interviewer. Notice how your body responds. Perhaps your breath becomes shallow and fast, your hands become clammy or muscles tighten. This information is important because it will give you a baseline to help you gauge how the anxiety is lessening.
Step 2. Pay attention to how you express relaxation
A. Withdraw your attention away from the interviewer and redirect it to a time or place that you know is pleasant. This may be something that you have actually experienced or just imagined. Notice how and where your body relaxes. Take your time. This observation will remind you that you have the capacity to calm yourself.
B. While you are still thinking about a pleasant experience, imagine that you are inside a large ball. Notice how far out this ball extends in all directions. Identify the boundaries. This information can be used to help you know that you are present in this moment, that you have not “gone” anywhere.
C. Pay particular attention again to how your body lets you know you are relaxed. Perhaps your breath has deepened or your hands have warmed. This bubble can be your safe haven during the interview. Keep the image of a bubble around you during the next step.
Step 3. Do a dry run
A. This step is best done with a friend. Instruct them to not talk and to move only when you give them permission. Give them an object to hold that will represent the interviewer and ask your friend to stand as far away as necessary in order for you to feel relatively relaxed inside your bubble. There is no right or wrong distance here. It is important for you to start out at a distance that is not threatening to your nervous system.
B. Face the object that represents the interviewer and ask your friend to take one step forward. Notice what happens in your body. Are you still relatively relaxed? If so, continue inviting your friend to move one step closer until “the interviewer” has reached the distance where you begin to feel the first hint of anxiety.
C. Ask yourself what might feel good to help relieve the stress? If you would like someone to be there for moral support, imagine that person being there with you. If you would like to hold something, pick up that object . A notepad and pen may help boost your confidence. If your body wants to stretch do that.
D. Once you have done something that helps you relax, notice again the bubble around you. It may have pulled in or changed shape. Being able to maintain your awareness that you are safe inside the bubble will help you calm the urge to flee.
E. Invite your friend to continue to move closer one step at a time until “the interviewer” is at the distance that you expect she will be during the actual interview. After each step, take time to feel yourself in your bubble and to IMAGINE doing what ever your body wants to feel more at ease.
This “dry run” can ease your anxiety and help you find ways to not let your anxiety interfere with your capacity to demonstrate your abilities, skills and interests.
But Wait….
I do not have anyone with whom to practice the exercise you described. What can I do?
You can modify the exercise by placing an object on a chair that represents the interviewer. Instead of having the “interviewer” move closer to you, you can take steps toward the “interviewer.” Observe and calm yourself in the same way as the instructions above.
I have gone through so many job interviews already. I would think that I would not be anxious anymore, but I am. How can that be?
It’s not uncommon to intellectually know all the “right” things to say and do and still feel overwhelmed with anxiety. In these situations, the anxiety that comes up may have more to do with a past experience than the actual interview. If the current threat is similar enough to a past threat, you nervous system will act as though the old threat were present again. Unable to complete the urge to escape during a past experience, such as being severely punished when you failed a test, your nervous system will attempt to make an escape from the present situation.
It is very difficult for me to relax at any time. How can I expect to be less anxious during a job interview?
You are not alone. Many people are anxious most days. If you find that your anxiety seriously interferes with other areas of your life such as your ability to maintain friendships or care for your family or home, you may need additional support from a counselor or other professionals such as an acupuncturist, naturopath, homeopath or psychiatrist. Although past traumatic or overwhelming events may have happened years ago, they can still make you feel anxious long after the threat has disappeared.
What Happened to Manuel?
When Manuel came to me for counseling, he became teary whenever he talked about his job search. His panic attacks had increased from once a month when he first loss his job to several times a week. He wanted to give up the job search even though he had two interviews lined up for the following week.
Manuel could feel relaxed when he imagined visiting his favorite beach, but when he thought of sitting across from an interviewer, he stiffened with fear and his breath quickened. By paying attention to the physical sensations that arose at the first hint of anxiety, he remembered how his mother verbally assaulted him whenever he brought home poor test grades.
When I invited him to notice what his body wanted to do, he was surprised to see his feet moving spontaneously. In his mind’s eye he saw himself running, all the way across town to his friend’s house. The release of this energy which had been stuck in his body for years reduced his anxiety. Within a month, his panic attacks had stopped and he could easily go through the exercises I described above. After his next job interview he told me how, for the first time, he had been able to stay present during the interview and answer the questions cleverly and show his genuine enthusiasm for the job. He knew he had impressed the interviewer and felt confident he had a good chance at getting the job.
Summary
1. When the nervous system perceives a job interview as a threat, an unconscious and normal response is to become anxious.
2. Anxiety during an interview can relate more to a past threat than to the actual interview.
3. There are three steps you can take to be less anxious during an interview:
a. Pay attention to your physical sensations when you feel anxious
b. Pay attention to your physical sensations when you feel relaxed
c. Do a dry run of an interview
Next Step?
If you experiment with the exercises I described above and notice that you are not able to create a safe bubble or soothe yourself or that paying attention to your body is challenging, then you may benefit from working with a therapist who understands how nervous systems respond to threat. When past threats have been intense your nervous system may need additional support to be able to gently move through the threat and discharge the impulses that did not complete when you were younger.
